“Ummi (Mommy) has a baby in her belly! I’m going to be a big sister!” Beautiful brown eyes look up in dancing amazement. “Yes, you are and you are going to be the best big sister to your baby sister, I just know it.” After several months of wild anticipation, the baby arrives. Not once did this young girl, excited about being a big sister, have a thought in her mind that her parents would love her any less when her baby sister arrived. Even after the arrival of...

by Coach Fatimah

Vulnerability is defined as the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. As I read the definition of “vulnerability” I suddenly was submerged in my own past moments where I met vulnerability at the fork in my own emotional road. A few words in the definition spoke to me. The word “attacked” or “exposed” in my own personal life I have given this word great power over...

I write this with tears in my eyes as I think about families mourning the losses of their beloved men in their lives. I write this with tears in my eyes as I think about the losses of the beloved men in my life as well as the lives of my co-wife and our husband. These men were instrumental in many ways for the growth, power, strength and care that we tap into through our day to day. And in the wake of receiving news that a man, who was known throughout our community as a great man, a giver,...

Salaam/Peace,

As the ritual of setting New Year's Resolutions begins with the call for closing the door on the decade culminating with 2019 and unfounded optimism surrounds 2020 with cute slogans like 'clear vision' and promises to change, I reflect.

As I look back 30 years to 1989 as a new teenager going through puberty not knowing what the future held. I was the oldest of six children dealing with dysfunction that was far too common and would begin to shape some of my core beliefs. Many of...

Coach Fatimah & Nyla have been part of polygyny for 9 years and discuss how they manage stress and their household dynamics being different even though they are married to the same man, Coach Nazir.

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Many times when women discuss men being married to more than one woman, one knee jerk question tends to be, "why can't I have more than one husband?!"

Quick quips and reactive responses hardly are well thought out questions. Very few societies have ever practiced polyandry (women having more than one husband) and thrived. There are many reasons why but we focus on just a few reasons why it makes more sense to us why polygyny is more the natural way then other forms of polygamy.

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Many times when people choose to get involved in a polygynous marriage, children are involved. Sometimes the children are overlooked or their emotions and feelings to the adjustment may not be addressed.

The quality of life we live is usually based on the quality of our relationships. One of the most important and impactful relationships people have is the parent/child relationship. Polygyny not being the traditional form of marriage in today’s society can be challenging, not only for...

A letter to a wife (second/subsequent) who is emotional and nervous about her heart, especially since more attention is usually directed to the first wife's emotional challenges.

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Dear Beautiful Wife,

I want to write this to you because it's easier for me to express myself by writing versus speaking. I know you must be experiencing a plethora of emotions, some positive and some the opposite and I want you to know...

Do you have our 5 Keys to a Fulfilling Marriage Guide? If not, download it here

A letter to a wife (first/only wife) who thinks her husband doesn't care about her feelings because of interest or engagement in polygyny.

Dear Beautiful Wife,

I wanted to write out some thoughts because sometimes it's easier for me to think about polygyny on paper when it's quiet and my emotions are calm.

You will always have the title of being the woman who first made me a husband. The woman who made me father....

As salaamu alaykum - Peace,

Unfortunately the term love has no one clear, concise, or absolute definition. There are innumerable poems about love and money spent throughout the ages in search of and sharing the stories of love are unfathomable. We speak of the love we have for our parents, our families, culture, family, God, and many other things however we feel uncertain on whether a man can love more than one woman he marries.

It’s only natural when raised in a society that shuns and...