Are Women Selfish For Not Wanting Polygamy for Themselves?
Take a moment and think about this:
If a woman says she’s not against polygamy but immediately shuts the door when her husband expresses interest, is she really supportive of the institution—or simply protecting her comfort at the expense of something greater?
This is a hard question, but it’s one we must ask. Not because it’s about feelings—but because it’s about the survival of our families, the future of our children, and the stability of society as a whole.
The Contradiction Few Want to Address
It’s fascinating how polygamy is one of the few things people say they’re okay with… until it hits home.
Think about it:
“I’m all for feeding the hungry… but I’m not sharing my food.”
“I support the military… but I’d never let my son enlist.”
Sounds selfish, doesn’t it?
Yet when it comes to marriage and family, this contradiction is accepted without question. A wife will say she values marriage—rating it an 8 or 9 out of 10 in importance—but when her husband mentions polygyny, suddenly her personal discomfort outweighs everything she claims to believe in.
If it means destroying the family structure and risking the well-being of her children to preserve her emotional comfort, many women are willing to make that trade.
And the consequences? They’re devastating.
The Real-World Impact of Emotion-Driven Decisions
Fatherless homes contribute to:
85% of youth in prison
71% of high school dropouts
63% of youth suicides
90% of homeless and runaway children
(Source: U.S. Department of Justice & National Fatherhood Initiative)
And yet, how often do we hear women say, “If my husband even thinks about another wife, I’m gone!”
Not only is this a dangerous mindset for the family, but it has a ripple effect that damages the entire community.
A Tale of Two Mindsets: Mariam vs. Samia
Mariam always said she wasn’t against polygamy. She even advised her friends to be open-minded about it. But when her loving, responsible, and financially capable husband approached her with his desire to marry again, she lost control.
Tears. Threats. Ultimatums.
“If you marry another woman, I’m leaving.”
And she did.
Now a struggling single mother, Mariam watches her son—once a straight-A student—spiral into rebellion. Skipping classes. Hanging out with the wrong crowd. Experimenting with things no mother wants to admit.
Contrast that with Samia.
When her husband brought up polygyny, she felt the discomfort rise too. But instead of reacting emotionally, she reflected deeply:
“Do I really believe in the importance of marriage and family… or have I just been saying that to feel good about myself?”
She stayed. She worked through her discomfort.
Today, her household is thriving. Her children enjoy the benefits of a father’s consistent presence and the support of a strong, extended family.
The Bigger Question: Feelings or Future?
Society today pushes the mantra: “Protect your peace. Prioritize your feelings.”
But let’s be honest—at what cost?
Throughout history, when women prioritized long-term thinking and community preservation, societies thrived. When personal feelings became the standard for decision-making, families broke down—and so did the moral fabric of society.
Ask yourself:
Do you love the idea of strong families, or are you willing to play your part—even when it’s uncomfortable?
Is marriage something you value only when it serves you, or is it something you believe should be preserved for the next generation?
It’s Time for Accountability
If women truly value marriage, how can they so easily destroy it when challenged?
This isn’t about silencing emotions. It’s about rising above them. Mature decisions require emotional discipline, especially when the future of our families and communities is at stake.
For the Men Ready to Lead with Confidence and Courage:
If you’re a man tired of the emotional landmines and ready to become the type of leader your family respects and follows, it’s time to join me LIVE for the next Polygamy Power Challenge.
You’ll learn exactly how to build legacy, practice polygyny with wisdom, and lead your family without feeling dismissed, disrespected, or defeated.
➡️ Secure your seat now at PolygamyChallenge.com or text CHALLENGE to +1.307.303.3327
For the Women Struggling with This Reality:
If you’re reading this and feeling conflicted—or even defensive—that’s okay. The goal isn’t to shame you; it’s to help you grow into the woman who makes decisions based on values, not just emotions.
📱 Text Coach Fatimah “HEAL” at 307.303.3301 to start your personal healing journey.
📱 Text Coach Nyla “GTG” at 307.303.3304 if you’re ready to gain the tools to gracefully navigate this emotional struggle and grow through it.
Final Thought:
You can’t claim to value marriage and simultaneously destroy it when tested.
It’s time to stop playing emotional games. The future belongs to those who can discipline their emotions and make decisions that build stronger families, stronger men, and stronger societies.
Be Outstanding!
Three Perspectives, One Story, Are You Next?
Coach Nyla, Coach Nazir, & Coach Fatimah
