Dear wife, only wife, first wife, my love...

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A letter to a wife (first/only wife) who thinks her husband doesn't care about her feelings because of interest or engagement in polygyny.

Dear Beautiful Wife,

I wanted to write out some thoughts because sometimes it's easier for me to think about polygyny on paper when it's quiet and my emotions are calm.

You will always have the title of being the woman who first made me a husband. The woman who made me father. The one Allah has blessed me to spend uninterrupted years with. You've been given the honor to be with me in my early years and have seen me develop from a boy into the man I am today. I have not forgotten or overlooked any of these things, indeed I cherish them and am glad that I spent this time with none other than you. No one has the ability to match our time together, the years, the highs or lows, and the precious moments that Allah felt were best between the two of us.

Above all, I cherish Islam and all that it brings. It is the only thing that gives honor and allows me to even understand myself when society works hard to confuse the masses about what relationships and even marriages are today.

As to who I am as a man and you as a woman? The more I study, the more I recognize that Allah has created us differently and He knows His creation better than we know ourselves. As to the man I've become, I'm humbled and honored with you by my side and know there is still a ways to go however I know that you'd agree that my growth has been an honor for you too. I know that our love has grown for each other over the years and your strength always amazes me and brings me comfort.

Allah knows men and I am aware of your emotions, deepness of your love, fears, and pain that just the thought of me marrying again may bring. I don't just push how you feel to the side and seek my "rights". You haven't known me as a crass or inconsiderate man this long and I am not going to start now. Marrying another woman in line with my nature as a man, as a Muslim, as a follower of Islam, and as a solution maker will not cause me to love you any less, replace you or what we've built, forget about our life and future together, or dismiss the emotions you've invested in us. I know you may feel hurt, confused, lonely, and I know that is only because we are raised in a society that is okay with mistresses, girlfriends on the side, jump downs, side chicks, and every other immoral thing except providing a woman with the honor of marriage. Not to mention the whispers of the whisperer.

I'm not going to give you any lame reasons as to why I want to marry again, nor do I want you to simply think it is just a sexual thing. Yes I love sex and you know that more than anybody which is evidenced by our family and good times but I know you don't consider yourself as simply some sex object so I am advising you not to do the same out of hurt or negative feelings. I'm going to love you through whatever lies ahead on this noble road. I plan to grow that much more and work to allow you and others to see the wisdom of Islamic polygyny and why the best man that ever walked the planet was the best example for it, sallahu alayhi wa salaam. I believe that after your emotions cool off and I dispel your fears, we'll be that much closer to our Lord, stronger together, and opened up to more barakat than we could have imagined.

I love you.

PS - Do you have our 5 Keys to a Fulfilling Marriage Guide? If not, be sure to download it here


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