As the ritual of setting New Year's Resolutions begins with the call for closing the door on the decade culminating with 2019 and unfounded optimism surrounds 2020 with cute slogans like 'clear vision' and promises to change, I reflect.
As I look back 30 years to 1989 as a new teenager going through puberty not knowing what the future held. I was the oldest of six children dealing with dysfunction that was far too common and would begin to shape some of my core beliefs. Many of my circumstances caused me to decide what I would never accept when I became a man. Having no control would sum up the 80s with things like being considered the man of the house after my parents recent divorce, moving in the middle of the night to avoid landlords, alcoholism, being a victim of physical and emotional abuse, witnessing sexual abuse, and constantly having adults who know better and should do better, do nothing. The 80's was full of experiences that would shape me decades later, the experiences were setting up a world I wasn't ready for in the 90s, but thankfully I survived. I can't say that for several relatives and friends. My teenage mind pulled from a world of break dancing, kung fu, Scarface, NWA, and of course girls... that's how I entered the 90's as a budding teenager.
As I look back 20 years to 1999 and remember the Y2K craze. Patrolling outside the masjid just in case some tried it On December 31, 1999. How much can change in 10 years? I was married for 4 and a half years at this time with 2 daughters and one more on the way. I came of age. Early 90s I followed blindly, rebelled against my better judgment, was angry at circumstances, found camaraderie with friends involved in BS - living the wrong side of the song Self-Destruction. I eventually went on a spiritual journey after questioning my 10 years of Christian education. I disowned organized religion but knew there was a Creator, a bigger purpose.
Continuing on my path, I ended up detained and forced to introspect, study, and slow down while observing the world around me. After much resistance I studied organized religion again and eventually looked at the Quran to prove it wrong but surprisingly I was defeated and had to submit to the truth of Islam. That was the best decision I made to this day and has brought an unprecedented peace in my life. With this new found wisdom I worked to be of moral character and first married when I was 19 years old. I was introduced to entrepreneurship, home business, and personal development shortly after marrying which has profoundly affected my family. By the end of the decade, I found myself. That new self positively impacted one of my brothers a few years earlier, Naser fka Jose, who chose enlightenment over blindness before he was murdered due to mistaken identity. At the end of the decade and millenia, I had been married with two daughters with one on the way who would be born on my late brother's birthday, an answer to my prayer as a sign.
As I look back over the last 10 years, I recall December 2009 being the month I chose to leave the business side of a company that helped grow me into a speaker, trainer, leader, strategist, salesperson, and successful business owner who grew a team to several thousand people and trainer of tens of thousands because I felt it lacked integrity in some aspects of its operations. By this time I had 4 daughters and 2 sons and a working knowledge of internet marketing and business. The lessons learned in the early 2000s were many, but mainly, integrity is everything and the cost of losing myself is too high and I'm not willing to pay it. Learning to set goals, being focused, reading daily, and working on you are invaluable lessons. Being at all of my children's births regardless of job, appointment, or scheduling conflict was important to me. Delivering 3 of them at home is also a highlight of life. Losing my father to lung cancer from bad decisions was difficult but knowing that the accepted the haqq years before passing was a relief. With my children not having grandfathers or great grandfathers, I now became the patriarch for my family who must accept the helm and navigate.
With a wife beautiful in so many ways and children I poured love into, we moved forward into the unknown where nothing is promised and had massive success and a few failures from which we garnered lessons. More ups than downs no question. Several countries and vacations in exotic areas expanded my vision and mission. Leaving to do my own thing in December 2009 was a big step and one which still showers its rewards to this day.
Now in 2019, celebrating 24 years of marriage and adding to that bliss by marrying again and celebrating 9 years of marriage, my life and my wives continue to learn me something great! Being the father of 4 daughters followed by 6 sons along with 2 other bonus children is a tremendous blessing and responsibility. As several are now grown and embark upon their paths, I can only offer guidance, wisdom, and pray they find their spot in this world as they live it on their way to the next life.
These 3 decades have helped shape my identity, beliefs, and mission. Now entering my sixth decade (70s, 80, 90s, 00s, 10s) I must engage, equip, and empower more people to let that light continue to shine whether through my children or others whom I was given the honor of impacting. Be grateful and always choose honor. I pray you enjoy the next decade and prosper at the highest levels you desire but ultimately that you find inner peace and truth as we move through this transitory existence.
Now set and go get your goals in a way that is fulfilling and leaves this place better than you found it! You are indeed the author of your own story, be the hero not the villain. Tomorrow January 1st, I intend to conduct a LIVE Goal Setting Goal Getting Workshop, if you want to benefit, check outstandingpersonalrelationships.com/2020