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Dear wife, subsequent wife, my love...

A letter to a wife (second/subsequent) who is emotional and nervous about her heart, especially since more attention is usually directed to the first wife's emotional challenges.

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Dear Beautiful Wife,

I want to write this to you because it's easier for me to express myself by writing versus speaking. I know you must be experiencing a plethora of emotions, some positive and some the opposite and I want you to know you no longer have to shoulder them alone.

I adore you for many reasons but if I must choose one, it's your strength. You've fought many silent battles, lost some and won others. The difference this time is you no longer go into battle alone, this soldier will lead from the front from now on bi ithnillah.

You've chosen to practice polygyny which unfortunately instantly attracts ridicule, backbiting, slanders, and even ridiculous labeling from relatives, family, and worst of all sisters who recite the same shadadah as you. I know it's not easy to hear things like home wrecker, snake, mistress, side piece, and so on but much worse was said about out Nabee (sws). You've chosen Islam in its totality and honored me as a caretaker of your heart and I take that serious. Thank You.

I'm sure there are expectations, fears, nervousness, and hurt that affect you from time to time. You've experienced life, marriage, children, conversion, etc... and I'm here to prove that your past doesn't have to equal your future. Your son now has an example of what a man is suppose to be and I'll help him grow while your daughter will learn how to be a woman whose eyes are open to the world while cherishing her femininity and strength through Islam.

Though I've been married for years and Allah blessed me with a beautiful family, you are the timely addition that He felt was essential at this time in my life. Know that I understand you may be unsure of where or how you fit in but I want you to simply be you. I don't want a clone of my current wife or anyone else.

I know you're more than welcoming to her and that she has feelings and emotions that are similar yet different from yours that she must work through. I will be the man both of you need. She has held my heart for many years and I'm grateful it has expanded to encompass you and my new children. Promise to communicate with me openly and remind me gently if you feel uncomfortable or think I'm off, the only way to success is by fear of Allah. I know even reading about her may make you uncomfortable but just know that even if you are my 'Aisha, she will always be my Khadijah. My love isn't limited so she can't nudge you out nor can you nudge her out, Allah is indeed the Greatest.

I look forward to getting this right, overcoming obstacles, building righteous children, and enjoying each other. I fully understand it won't be easy but I do know it will be worth it! Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to grow and practice more of Islam than most men will ever come near. Let's be that example and work to get as much barakat as possible.

I. Love. You.

*This is dedicated to subsequent wives in polygyny because many times their emotions are overlooked because of the "they know what they signed up for" attitude.*


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