"Bonus Parenting" in Polygyny

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Salaam/Peace {{ first_name }},


Some people say that one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs in one's life is that of a parent. What about being a "bonus parent"? For those who are not familiar, a bonus parent is another name for step parent. Being one who was a bonus/step daughter twice around as well as being a bonus mom twice around, I have a little experience from both sides of the fence.

My first step/bonus dad, whom I lovingly refer to as "Pop" or "Pop-Pop" entered my life when I was...

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Handling Co-wife Comparison

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Salaam/Peace,

One of the major challenges between wives in polygyny is the compare and compete game. There seems to be some unwritten code that states that because you are married to the same man you must be competitors. Competing and comparing can tend to bring out more insecurity than growth. Have you heard the saying, "Comparison is the thief of joy"? While that can be true, we can also use comparisons in an empowering way if we choose to.

I created a video that explains that in a lot more...

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The Weight of Healing vs. The Wait of Healing

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Salaams/Peace,

Healing from our past traumas is something we all must do in order to move forward to gain happiness and future success. Oftentimes we don't realize that if we wait to heal, we are actually prolonging the process; causing more pent up anger and possibly even rage. One of the most important things is especially the harmony that may come from our healing; inner peace is always priceless.

In this video, Coach Fatimah discovered that waiting to heal placed much "weight" on her...

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5 Keys to Choosing Your Battles to Win in Relationships

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Salaam/Peace,

We know that it is not always peaches and cream or sunshine and rainbows when it comes to building our best relationships. It take time, patience understanding among other things. What about when the going gets rough? What about the times where you just can't seem to agree or those instances that may set off certain triggers that can cause things to blow up in ways that can be hard to come back from?

We don't have to fight every battle that comes our way in our relationships....

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Establishing Family Traditions for a Better Family

Salaam/Peace, 

Years ago I learned a philosophy that has served my family and I well. That philosophy is summed up in 3 words: 'Faith, Family, Finances'. This has served me by reminding me of priorities and things of which I must be aware. [Click here to watch Video]

I don't come from a privileged background where my family environment was mainly encouraging and nurturing, it was quite the opposite. Experiencing this as a boy caused me to form some rather strong ideas of what I'd like my...

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My Friend Didn't Want to Meet my Co-Wife?

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Salaam / Peace!

NEW BLOG ALERT!! It's time for a STORY time blog! In our new blog, Coach Fatimah discusses a recent Eid celebration in her community which was full of lots of laughs, funs and great memories! However, there was just one catch.

Oftentimes, when there are celebrations such as Eid or Jummah, many friends & co-wives have the opportunity to meet one another for the FIRST time. We all know that those moments can become particularly tense because our friends may feel hurt,...

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Monogamy Vs Polygyny: Is There Really a Competition?

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Salaam/Peace,

As much as we speak and train on marriage and relationships, we tend to give polygyny a little more attention. That is why I am not surprised that there are those out there who think that we may have a thing against monogamy.

To set the record straight, we don't. We were in monogamous marriages before polygyny, and as polygyny is a form of marriage, so is monogamy. And as we simply state, time and time again, we are PRO MORALS. I created a video that explains why we focus on...

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Subsequent Wife in a First Wife World

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Salaam/Peace,

Being a subsequent wife is not without its challenges and I know that is hard for some to believe as we live in a society that believes that subsequent or incoming wives have it made because they succeeded in "taking someone else's man". I know that sounds harsh, however it is a harsh reality for subsequent wives to get shunned, disrespected and put on the back burner to ease the fears, tensions and ill feelings of an initial wife. This is not a versus or comparison post, it is...

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Polygyny Mistakes: Connecting with Bonus Children

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Salaam/Peace!

Being married with children can have it's benefits as well as it's challenges, right? Now think about children in a polygynynous family. Do you think there are a host of other challenges that can arise? Can the benefits of connecting with any and all bonus children outweigh any challenges that could and may come from initial awkwardness, fear or uncertainty of being in a polygynous family?

I share my story about one of the polygyny mistakes I've made regarding my bonus children...

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Marriage, Polygyny & Abandonment Issues

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Salaams/Peace,

A variety of issues can arise when it comes to polygyny. One of them is feeling abandoned; feeling alone without your spouse. Many times abandonment issues aren't discussed in polygyny and the feeling of abandonment can leave you feeling helpless and often times, unloved. In this video I will be discussing abandonment issues in my perspective as an initial wife. You can check out the video HERE!

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us at ...

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